Food Frenzy (Rip Off of a friend)

Food Survey stolen from Newlywed Musings... Enjoy!!
1. What is your favorite dessert?

        CUPCAKES!!

2. Ever cooked a meal and failed miserably?

Fried Chicken... I've only tried this once since we've been married, but Adam loves fried chicken, so I decided to try it one night. I know that I was trying to cook it too fast now, but it turned out just awful!! The inside was bloody and the outside was black burnt... I think we had Chick-fil-A for dinner that night!

3. Is there a dish you haven't made but really want to?




I want to learn how to make bread. I just got a new KitchenAide mixer for my birthday (yesterday) and I am ready to put that thing to work!!


Also, I would like to make homemade lasagna... I just feel like it seems like a LOT of work, and I never really have the time.

4. What is your favorite food?



My favorite food would probably be sushi. I have severe cravings for sushi. I made Adam go with me to get it at least once a month. I just love it! I get the "not real" sushi though.... some of my favorites are Crunchy Shrimp Roll, Bagel Roll, Kyoto Roll, Gynza Roll, Spider Roll.... the list goes on and on.... :)

5. What is your least favorite food?



I absolutely HATE, DESPISE, ABHOR collard greens... won't even get near them.... they are just nasty! Once, as a kid my mom made me eat them, just a tiny bite, and I threw up! Just don't even try to get me to eat them.... ugh!

6. Do you have any seasonal meals you like?

Let's see...




Winter: Chili and Mexican Cornbread



Spring: Nothing really ringing a bell here... Maybe because Alabama doesn't really have a distinct spring... we just go from winter to summer in about 2 days usually.

        

Summer: Grilled steak with salad and watermelon (usually always our 4th of July feast!)



Fall: Football foods (terrible for you) like sausage balls, chips and dip, rotel, spinach dip, and grilled foods.



Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks!



And of course... Turkey and dressing (southern style dressing... not stuffing)
7. What is your comfort food?



Weird, but probably breakfast. My mom didn't cook much, but she cooked a big breakfast every Sunday, and I still think breakfast is one of my favorite meals. Not to mention that after I eat it on a lazy morning I always feel like napping right after.

8. Chocolate: milk, dark or white?



                 Yes, please!!!!!




Alright, your turn! Tag yourself and tell me your food likings.

Random Goings On...

Hi all! I just wanted to type out a quick entry to share with everyone what all as been going on in my life recently. Let's see... the past couple weeks have been BUSY!!

It all started on the weekend of the 23rd. Adam and I got a chance to take a little trip to a lake nearby in Wedowee Alabama for the weekend. We just went away together. On Friday night we cooked pancakes and watched scary movies. The cabin was 4 miles down a dirt road without anything in site. It had a huge common room with windows all around so it made watching scary movies all that much scarier! I loved it! Then on Saturday I got up super early and watched the sunrise and drank some coffee. AF showed that day so I was feeling a little crappy, but I just took it easy and we had a lazy day. I cooked us some breakfast and we watched Gameday and then we played card games and read books and watched football all day. We grilled steaks and made smores that night on a fire pit. Then Sunday morning we just woke up early and laid around for a while. It was a great get-away for us!

When we got home I worked Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I had my doctors appointment that I already talked about. It was a really terrible day at work that day, but then I had the great report from the doctor. That night my friend Jenny was in town so we had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate a good report! It was awesome!

Last Friday was The Rocky Horror Picture Show Masquerade Ball!! I love it! I go every year. This year Adam's friend Jolene and my friend Jenny went with me. It was a blast as usual!! I love to dress all crazy and go and participate in the show. It is definitely my favorite thing about Halloween.

Then on Saturday I got up early and my friend Jill and I went to diabetes camp down in Alex City for Camp Seale Harris' Family Weekend. We had to talk for about an hour and a half about insulin pumps and technology to the families with kids with diabetes. It was good and our talk went well. We had a lot of interaction from the families so that definitely helped us out! After our talk was finished we went out and just enjoyed the day. The weather was AMAZING! We played on the playground, did the zipline, sat out on a pier and talked, and walked a nature trail. It was a fantastic day, until.....



About 7pm that night I got a text from Adam saying to call my mother ASAP because my grandmother had had a stroke. This was her 2nd stroke. She had one back in 2008 in the week between when Adam's dad died and when my dad died. This time it affected her speech. Luckily her movement wasn't affected too much, but unlucky for everyone she can't really figure out words and she gets confused at times about who she is and who we are. It is really sad and frustrating for her. I went and stayed with her in the hospital all day on Tuesday. It was good to just get to spend some one-on-one time with her. She is in really good spirits considering!

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. My grandmother was moved to HealthSouth rehab yesterday for 3 weeks so hopefully they will be able to make some progress with her and she will show some improvements soon.

My birthday is Monday and our anniversary is on Wednesday next week, so lots of happy coming in the next couple days.

In baby making news, it is O time again, so cross fingers for something good to happen! :)

If you made it through all of that, I'm impressed!!

WHOO HOO!!! Quick update

More on this to come, but.....

I went to the doctor today and my BP was 103/67, my thyroid labs were PERFECT for pre-pregnancy, and my A1c was 5.8%.....

yeah.... I pretty much rock! :)

j/k....

In case you want to hit me right now cause you think "that is all just too perfect" my weight was 194 up from 187 last time... so..... I guess everything can't always be perfect.

Oh well... just wanted to share!

The Strength of Women

There have been times in my life where I have felt like wonder woman.

There have been other times where I see wonder woman in my friends.

The journey of trying to conceive has been no exception to this.

While there have been ups and downs, break-ups, failures, illness, and even death among my friends and I over the years, I would venture to say that this endeavor has been and will always be one of the hardest we have faced together. Each at the same place in life, but experiencing our own difficulties along the way.

I will say where this is coming from without continuing my banter. My dear friend, who just 9 weeks ago broke my heart with her fantastic news, is now experiencing a heart break of her own. Yesterday at her first appointment she went into the ultrasound room to see an empty uterus. There was no baby.

She sent me a text that simply said, "At the doctors apt. There is no baby." My heart broke for a second time at the hands of her news. Follow-up on this information revealed that she had a blighted ovum. A very common experience for many women with first-trimester miscarriages. Basically there was a problem very early on in the pregnancy, and while the placenta continued to develop, the baby did not. The real bitch of it all is that because of the placenta development, she continues to feel pregnant, with the sickness, fatigue, and soreness of it all.

She basically has three options: 1. Have a D&C, go under general anesthesia and have her uterus lining, placenta and all scraped out, 2. Take Prostin E2- a vaginal suppository that will induce her uterus to expel the contents within (very painful), or 3. Wait until her body decides to naturally expel the placenta (also painful). She called me today and told me that she has decided to go with the third option, as that will give her the best peace of mind with the whole situation. So she is just waiting for what feels like a baby, even though she now knows it isn't, to miscarry.

Talk about strength- She said to me on the phone today, "So, I'll pray that you conceive this month, and you pray that I miscarry." UGH!! Being a woman sucks on so many new levels now! If after two weeks she still hasn't miscarried naturally, she will go back to the Dr on October 25th, have another ultrasound to see the empty uterus, and be left with the first two options, of which she has decided to go with option number two. If that is the case she will be going through with her m/c on October 27th. So she says over the phone, "So I'll have to miscarry around the same time you're taking a pregnancy test this month." Again, to this I say... UGH!

Why does this all have to be so hard? Why is that one minute I am crying because she has something I so desperately want? And why is it that I can reconnect with another friend through this struggle, only to find out that she too is fighting her own battle? And why does fate have to throw such a nasty curve ball her way? And why is it that now, seeing her grief that I wish to not be pregnant this month?

I know that in all of this we have no hand in what we are dealt. We have no way to control what God will provide and what He will take away.

But I just want to take this time to say... Damn we are strong. Women will endure and go on. Women will take one hit after another and continue to love. Women can feel hurt and love in equal parts and continue. Women can rejoice and grieve simultaneously.

And for this I say I love you all for what you go through, and I hate what you have to go through.

Prayers for all the women I have known and will know.... May your lives be less complicated, and may God provide you with the strength to endure.

Well... Time marches on...

I'm feeling much better since my last post. Thank you to everyone who opened up to me to offer support. I had a rough couple of weeks, but with each day things got a little better. It helped to take the month of September off from "trying." It was almost like reclaiming who I was before all I thought about was ovulation and cycle days. I feel much more level now... like with each passing month I got more and more worked up about everything, and last month was a great release for all that stress.

So... AF has showed, and a decision must be made. I know in the heat of the moment when I was so upset all I could think was "I don't even want to try anymore" and now after remembering what it was all about anyways... I think I'm ready to "try" again. Maybe not with the ferocity as before, but more than restarting birth control. I am going to give up on the stress of trying to make it happen now, and just hope that it happens soon.

I can't promise that I won't go nuts again. I hope I don't....

Anyways, this is a bittersweet time of year for me and Adam. Today is two years since Adam's father's death. Which means that in two weeks it will be two years since my father died. It is so hard to believe that two years has past already. I suppose that is how things go though...

So until next time...

Heartbroken

Well, yesterday afternoon my very best friend in the whole world called me to tell me that she is, in fact, pregnant. This was her first month to try, and her period never showed. Pregnant. Just like that. Pregnant.

Whew... I'm not sure what I should say here.

I reacted the way I'd hoped I would react to this news. See... in my gut I knew the news was coming. Let's face it... she is perfect after all. No diabetes. No thyroid problems. Healthy. Strong. Works from home. Doesn't have to pay for her house. Super organized. Close to the man upstairs. Closer to Him than me. Okay... So, I reacted positively.

I AM THRILLED FOR HER!!

I really am. If I take myself out of the equation. You know, the way a perfectly unselfish, strong woman would. I am completely thrilled for her and her husband. They aren't going through this anymore. She doesn't have to experience a period off of birth control. She doesn't have to try and try and wonder if there is something wrong. She doesn't have to feel sick all month long for various reasons. She knows. She doesn't have to question. They are so lucky.

So... I guess that is all I can say here. I'm so happy for them. They are so lucky. I'm grieving good news. I didn't sleep all night. I've felt like throwing up since I talked to her yesterday. I've cried like someone on suicide watch. So DAMN emotional.

The worst is that I feel like this places a pressure on me. I know that she will feel guilty a little. We're just good friends like that. She'll have a little pity for me. And I HATE that. I hate that at every milestone, every shower, ever phone call, the question will loom in the air "Do I have news for her?" I can't imagine keeping on... I can't imagine it. So, I'm making a decision. I need some time.

She needs some time for this to be her experience.

I need some time to feel like it is my decision again.

So, we aren't trying this month. When my period starts at the end of this month I'm going to restart my birth control. For a month, or two months, or a year. I just can't do this right now. It's hers. It no longer feels like it can be ours. I don't know if this makes me a selfish person? A bad friend? A bad person all together?

I feel like a bad person. This is the worst that happiness has ever hurt.
Pure Heart break.

Forever ago....

A long, long time ago.... I had a blog. And I enjoyed that blog, until one day I found out that I had nothing to write about. And the days went by and one after another they passed, still with noting to write about, until one day when I had news.... I'm pregnant!!

Ha, ha. Just kidding! No news here. I just wanted everyone out there to have the same feelings I get every month as I wait and wait and then find out... no, not this month. It's not that getting pregnant is all I have to live for. I love my husband. I love our house. I even like my job most days. It's just that once we got the go ahead and all the pieces were in place it seemed like everything would happen quickly. I guess two very intelligent medical professionals might know what they are talking about after all when they say it could take me a while to get pregnant.

And so the months go by, and by, and by, and now it is September! Can you believe it? Fall is coming, football is here, and it is definitely my favorite time of the year! I try to stay on the bright side and think at least I have one more football game with beer! :o) haha But seriously, it is such an emotional roller coaster this TTC. I am just thankful to have good friends who are supportive and the internet to turn to for questions.

I am a little nervous though, because our really close friends are getting married in June (you know, 9 months from now) and I've had some wavering thoughts on continuing to try this month. On the one hand if we try and nothing, then no one would have to know. On the other, if this just happens to be the month, and we don't try... well... you know, that would suck. If we try and get pregnant at least there would be a good warning on the "Hey, I can't be in your wedding." But I'm afraid that would hurt our friends feelings. I know... I'm worrying too much. I guess that is just the future mother in me. I'm a worrier!

Then to add even more awful to the mix, we are now entering the time of year when people who get pregnant are really really pregnant in the summer.... in ALABAMA! Now, I know most of you who read my blog are not from Alabama, so you will need to picture being big ole preggers with all the swelling, weight, and pain on the surface of the sun, and you will understand this dilemma. Now, not that it will stop us from trying, but damn that just sounds awful!

LOL! Oh well.... put on a happy face! :o)