Dear Aunt Flo

Well, last night my nearly-2-days-late dear AF showed in all her glory. It happened just as Adam was about to leave to go to dinner with our friends. I took this one a little harder than before. I'm not sure why, but I found myself laying in bed crying and watching Steel Magnolias (my favorite movie for crying about diabetes and pregnancy). I tanked up on my muscle relaxers and pain killers, and hugged my Kleenex and heating pad and had myself a good crying fit!

It is starting to get to me. Starting to creep into my mind that there must be something wrong. I've got my OB appointment looming in the future (the Tuesday after Thanksgiving), and I've definitely got some concerns to share with her. This is my 6th TTC cycle, and I know many who have tried for much longer. I just know that I've been charting, temping, following all the gross signs of fertility, using OPKs, and we've been timing impeccably.

I have learned a great deal about myself through all of this.  I have learned that I'm a late ovulater (usually day 15 or 16) and that I have a relatively short luteal phase (12 days). I know for a fact that I do ovulate (something I had been concerned about at times before). I know that my body does a lot of things right. I have regular cycles (27-28 days long... every month). It is just the things that I don't know that are killing me. I want to know that it will happen. Be it 2 months or even 2 years from now, just knowing that we are okay and it will eventually happen would give me such reassurance. But there is no way of knowing that....

One thing I have given some consideration as a possible issue is that I ovulate on Saturday or Sunday every cycle, and that ovulation time ALWAYS falls on mine and Adam's weekend to work. On that weekend we are working long (12 hour) shifts and by the time we get home, eat dinner, and get to bed for the business to take place we are exhausted. It is C quality BD at best. I've often thought that if we could both switch our weekends on one of those "O" weekends it might help our chances of conception. But that is a task almost impossible... it is a bitch for nurses to try to trade weekends.

I often think that this simply will not happen until I am out of PICU and finally get the nurse practitioner job I've been looking for for the past year. This may be God's plan. In the mean time, without that prospect anywhere in the near future, I need to make a decision. Do I or do I not ask to pursue fertility help when I go to see my OB doc on Tuesday? Do I keep going through this misery month after month to only be heartbroken when the month ends? Or do I fight to see yet another doctor who will analyze both me and Adam, potentially adding stress to this whole already stressful thing, only to potentially find out that nothing is wrong? I don't know what to do.

I hate how sometimes God takes the scenic route with things in life that you want.... but I have to keep trusting that one day it will all make sense.

4th time is a charm???

UGH!!! I have spent the past two days and nights sick... again! This would be my 4th stomach virus of the year (not that I'm counting or anything). And, oh boy, does it get worse!! This past week goes as follows...

Friday (11/12) 3:30AM- I wake up in excruciating pain

Saturday (11/13) - Diagnosed with muscle strain in my neck. Prescribed Flexeril, Darvocet, and Lodine

Sunday (11/14) - Still some pain, but getting better

Monday (11/15) - Work, day goes alright, just a small amount of pain, take Motrin. I realize that I have an ulcer on my lip the size of a pencil eraser. Start applying vaseline to my lip round the clock to keep it from cracking open.

Tuesday (11/16) - At work in PICU, 11:10am realize I have a UTI when I go to pee and it feels like razor blades. Work til 7:00Pm so I just stopped by Publix and bought some Cranberry Juice on the way home. Pushing fluids. Still taking flexeril at night for neck pain.

Wednesday (11/17) - Work. We had one call in, so just me and Jill to cover phones, pump trainings, and clinic. (Impossible). MY UTI IS KILLING ME!! I realize at 2:45pm when Jill tells me that she is leaving early to go to a hair appointment that there is no chance in hell that I'm gonna get to leave early to go to the doctor. I write myself a prescription for Bactrim and have one of the doctors sign it.

As a side note here- I take a CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL prescription, where it is CLEARLY obvious that I have written the prescription and had someone else sign it, to CVS. They actually filled it! SCORE!!

Thursday (11/18) - Work. Not a bad day. Get home to see a surprise 36 mg/dl staring back at me from my meter. Treat the low. Start feeling horrible.

10:00PM- Vomiting starts and continues every 15-30 minutes throughout the rest of the night. Enter diarrhea. I am laying on the bathroom floor begging God to take it all away and help me to feel better.

Friday (11/19) - Vomiting stops at 5:00AM. Cramps start at 9:00 AM (Oh, yeah... my period is supposed to start today... YIPPY!!) Basically feel like my food is 2 seconds away from coming up all day... sleep A LOT!!


SO... HOW IS THAT FOR A WEEK!!!  A strained neck muscle, ulcerated lip, UTI, stomach virus, and a yet to start but impending period... Geez!!!

Hope ya'll have a better week that I have had!

World Diabetes Day

Happy World Diabetes Day everyone! I myself spent this day shopping for groceries and cooking! I tried a homemade bread recipe for the first time tonight... I made french bread and it turned out so yummy!! I also made pita chips and chicken salad for the week ahead.

Let's see... this weekend Adam and I went up to north Alabama to visit my family. Thursday I was in PICU and took care of a kid that would scream if I put him down even for a second, so I ended up holding him and carrying him around with me all day- for 12 hours! I ended my day at work by giving him a bath, during which he screamed and fought the entire time! Then at 3:30 am the following morning I awoke to the most awful pain I have ever experienced in my neck and back. We went on and traveled up to my moms that afternoon and I just took Tylenol, Motrin, Aleve and the 1 torodol I had left over from my last migraine. It was miserable!

That night we went to dinner at a German place in Huntsville and my grandmother got to leave rehab for the evening to come eat with us... she's doing a lot better, and it was great to see her! She should get to leave rehab on Tuesday of this week to come home. Anyways... it was a great dinner and then when we got back home I took one of my mom's muscle relaxers and went to bed. 11:45pm- Wake up again in excruciating pain.

So, Saturday Adam and I spent 3 hours at an Urgent Care Center. The doctor that saw me said that I have a muscle strain and prescribed me Darvocet, Flexaril, and Lodine. I've been feeling better little by little, but I'll be so glad when this pain is over!! He said that I would need an xray by the end of the week if the pain didn't go away.

So today I went to Sams and Walmart and bought a bunch of stuff! I'm so excited to use my new KitchenAid mixer  I went ahead and bought a bunch of stuff to bake with for the holidays, and as I mentioned earlier I made bread today. So I can cross that one off the list! :)

This entry has been pretty pointless. I'm now POD 7 in my cycle, so I'm starting to get to the point where I want to test. Every month it is like a battle with myself to not test until at least POD 12. I should really just not test at all because AF usually shows on POD 13 anyways, but I'm compulsive and I like to know before AF shows that she is coming for sure! Anyways... don't test, don't test, don't test.... and while you're at it don't even think about it. Worrying keeps you from getting pregnant... don't you know that by now!! (BTW... I'm really tired of people telling me to just not think about it!)

So today I was checking out at Walmart and the cashier was really "interesting." She started off conversation by telling me how much she HATES people that use re-usable bags (me) and she hates trying to bag groceries in them (as I hand her 8 of them). Then when she gets to the pregnancy test she pulls it out and starts quizzing me on whether or not I am ready for children (yes, I am) and how long we've been trying (6 months) and if we have seen a fertility specialist (REALLY?!?!?). I swear some people are just ridiculous!

Anyways... if you read all of that I'm impressed and you must be bored! :)

Three Little Years

Today is mine and Adam's 3rd anniversary. We have been through a lot in these past three years. Our relationship was such a baby when we were engaged, and it seems like time just flies now. I just wanted to take the time to remember all that we have been through and look ahead at the biggest things that we have to look forward to. I know that we have a long future ahead of us, and I am so excited about everything we will experience on the road ahead.

DC 2006

Adam's 26th Birthday

2009

My friend Rachel's wedding

Our Wedding

November 10, 2007

Philadelphia 2008- Phillies Game

Gatlinburg 2009

Grayton Beach

2010

Adam's 28th Birthday

2010

Birmingham Botanical Gardens

2005

To my wonderful husband, best friend, and soul mate, Adam, I love you!!

Food Frenzy (Rip Off of a friend)

Food Survey stolen from Newlywed Musings... Enjoy!!
1. What is your favorite dessert?

        CUPCAKES!!

2. Ever cooked a meal and failed miserably?

Fried Chicken... I've only tried this once since we've been married, but Adam loves fried chicken, so I decided to try it one night. I know that I was trying to cook it too fast now, but it turned out just awful!! The inside was bloody and the outside was black burnt... I think we had Chick-fil-A for dinner that night!

3. Is there a dish you haven't made but really want to?




I want to learn how to make bread. I just got a new KitchenAide mixer for my birthday (yesterday) and I am ready to put that thing to work!!


Also, I would like to make homemade lasagna... I just feel like it seems like a LOT of work, and I never really have the time.

4. What is your favorite food?



My favorite food would probably be sushi. I have severe cravings for sushi. I made Adam go with me to get it at least once a month. I just love it! I get the "not real" sushi though.... some of my favorites are Crunchy Shrimp Roll, Bagel Roll, Kyoto Roll, Gynza Roll, Spider Roll.... the list goes on and on.... :)

5. What is your least favorite food?



I absolutely HATE, DESPISE, ABHOR collard greens... won't even get near them.... they are just nasty! Once, as a kid my mom made me eat them, just a tiny bite, and I threw up! Just don't even try to get me to eat them.... ugh!

6. Do you have any seasonal meals you like?

Let's see...




Winter: Chili and Mexican Cornbread



Spring: Nothing really ringing a bell here... Maybe because Alabama doesn't really have a distinct spring... we just go from winter to summer in about 2 days usually.

        

Summer: Grilled steak with salad and watermelon (usually always our 4th of July feast!)



Fall: Football foods (terrible for you) like sausage balls, chips and dip, rotel, spinach dip, and grilled foods.



Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks!



And of course... Turkey and dressing (southern style dressing... not stuffing)
7. What is your comfort food?



Weird, but probably breakfast. My mom didn't cook much, but she cooked a big breakfast every Sunday, and I still think breakfast is one of my favorite meals. Not to mention that after I eat it on a lazy morning I always feel like napping right after.

8. Chocolate: milk, dark or white?



                 Yes, please!!!!!




Alright, your turn! Tag yourself and tell me your food likings.

Random Goings On...

Hi all! I just wanted to type out a quick entry to share with everyone what all as been going on in my life recently. Let's see... the past couple weeks have been BUSY!!

It all started on the weekend of the 23rd. Adam and I got a chance to take a little trip to a lake nearby in Wedowee Alabama for the weekend. We just went away together. On Friday night we cooked pancakes and watched scary movies. The cabin was 4 miles down a dirt road without anything in site. It had a huge common room with windows all around so it made watching scary movies all that much scarier! I loved it! Then on Saturday I got up super early and watched the sunrise and drank some coffee. AF showed that day so I was feeling a little crappy, but I just took it easy and we had a lazy day. I cooked us some breakfast and we watched Gameday and then we played card games and read books and watched football all day. We grilled steaks and made smores that night on a fire pit. Then Sunday morning we just woke up early and laid around for a while. It was a great get-away for us!

When we got home I worked Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I had my doctors appointment that I already talked about. It was a really terrible day at work that day, but then I had the great report from the doctor. That night my friend Jenny was in town so we had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate a good report! It was awesome!

Last Friday was The Rocky Horror Picture Show Masquerade Ball!! I love it! I go every year. This year Adam's friend Jolene and my friend Jenny went with me. It was a blast as usual!! I love to dress all crazy and go and participate in the show. It is definitely my favorite thing about Halloween.

Then on Saturday I got up early and my friend Jill and I went to diabetes camp down in Alex City for Camp Seale Harris' Family Weekend. We had to talk for about an hour and a half about insulin pumps and technology to the families with kids with diabetes. It was good and our talk went well. We had a lot of interaction from the families so that definitely helped us out! After our talk was finished we went out and just enjoyed the day. The weather was AMAZING! We played on the playground, did the zipline, sat out on a pier and talked, and walked a nature trail. It was a fantastic day, until.....



About 7pm that night I got a text from Adam saying to call my mother ASAP because my grandmother had had a stroke. This was her 2nd stroke. She had one back in 2008 in the week between when Adam's dad died and when my dad died. This time it affected her speech. Luckily her movement wasn't affected too much, but unlucky for everyone she can't really figure out words and she gets confused at times about who she is and who we are. It is really sad and frustrating for her. I went and stayed with her in the hospital all day on Tuesday. It was good to just get to spend some one-on-one time with her. She is in really good spirits considering!

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. My grandmother was moved to HealthSouth rehab yesterday for 3 weeks so hopefully they will be able to make some progress with her and she will show some improvements soon.

My birthday is Monday and our anniversary is on Wednesday next week, so lots of happy coming in the next couple days.

In baby making news, it is O time again, so cross fingers for something good to happen! :)

If you made it through all of that, I'm impressed!!