Time flies

Hello readers! Wow has time been going by so fast or what! Here we are Memorial Day weekend and the beginning of summer... Happy Memorial Day to everyone!

I've had a lot going on in my life as of late. I wore the ipro for a week, started routinely exercising (SO HARD FOR ME!!!), had a fabulous family friend come visit from out of town, and went to my doctor! :o) So... let me tell you about it all!

First off... I have to talk about the OB appt. It was categorized as a pregnancy consult, and I got a lot of whispered, "Are you already pregnant?" questions from the receptionists and nurses. I saw my regular OB/ GYN at Shelby, which is right beside our house. I ask her my myriad of questions and she was so comforting and helpful with all of her answers. She is a fairly young doctor, but I've seen her for the past 5 years, and I have really grown to trust her and am very comfortable. Needless to say, I was very nervous about having to give her up for the pregnancy and delivery parts of my life. We talked in depth about what she hopes to see in a pregnancy that involves pre-existing diabetes and hypothyroidism. She discussed wanting me to have an a1c < 6 to assure the best chances of not having cardiac complications, and she was very adamant about having my thyroid levels monitored very closely. She was very honest with me about not knowing a great deal about cgms, though she talked with me about what she knew about insulin pumps. She knows me and my background well, which I think made her a little more comfortable with just trusting me to know what is best for me in that sense. She talked with me about my Endo, and said that she knows him and has worked with him in the past. (Surprise to me, because I didn't know he could consult for people outside of UAB)

So as we talked I started to release my vice grip on UAB and open up to the option of keeping my beloved OBGYN and delivering at Shelby. Now... I've mentioned that I'm a nurse and my husband is a nurse. We work in the bigger hospitals... my husband at UAB and me at Children's, and let's just say... we're a little bit stuck up when it comes to thinking our hospitals are the best around. So... I ask my OB... point blank... "If anything goes wrong, will I be putting myself or my baby at risk by delivering at this hospital?" She was open with me... She said that the labor, deliver, and NICU at Shelby are very good (I know this, because I've worked with people who have worked in the NICU there, and known people who have delivered healthy babies there), but as far as I go... if I needed specialty care outside of the realm of obstetrics for some unforeseen reason I would request to go to UAB.

So... I've thought and thought about this and Adam and I have decided that for now we are going to stick with her... have her work closely with my endo, and go forward with things. However, at the first inkling of any complications we will go ahead to the high risk ob at UAB. I am very happy with this decision, though it isn't what I at first pictured.

In other news from the appointment... She said stop the BC after this next AF, go ahead and start taking a prenatal vitamin (I already was, and she said any OTC prenatal vitamin will do until I am 28 weeks), use backup BC after I'm off the pill until I see my endo at the end of July. If everything is good at that appointment, she wants me to fax her over all my labwork and results, and then we can start! So... we have a plan in place. Now if only I can get CGMS and the new Revel pump up and going by the end of July, we will start to officially try beginning in August. So excited! (And scared shitless... excuse the expression!)

In the non-pre-pregnancy side of my life, our very close family friends Jay and Jolene were recently in town for a few days and it was so fabulous to see them, although it is hard to not tell everyone I see about our plans! I just love being around friends and family and sharing in what will surely be our future memories.

BTW... My cousin had a healthy baby girl named Lillian on Thursday 7lbs. 14oz. Mom and baby are both at home now and doing well!

I hope all of you have a happy and safe holiday weekend!

Update on the way

I'm sorry I've been so silent as of late... I will have an update coming soon. Off work for a few days and the doctor appointment is tomorrow.

Also of note... My cousin will be welcoming her second tomorrow morning if all goes well. Please cross fingers and say prayers for a happy and healthy delivery! :o)

Big Moves and some food for cynics thought

Just for a quick update on what is going on... I worked this last weekend in PI and then yesterday and today in the endocrine clinic. I've been very busy and sleep deprived and now (on my Friday) I am so tired! But things are moving forward... life just doesn't stop for work! :o) Today I spoke with Kathryn at Medtronic who is going to assist me in processing my CGMS (although I learned that my current insurance has never approved at CGMS- yikes!). I am also working on using the Pathway program to process an upgrade to the new Revel pump so that I will have a larger insulin resevior for those days of insulin resistance that I hope are in my future (what a weird thing to say!). I am putting on an ipro tomorrow to wear for a week and I'm hoping that with that information plus the Carelink reports I have will help make a case for my CGMS. I have an appointment with my usual OB/GYN for next Thursday for what is called a "pre-pregnancy counseling" appointment. I need help coming up with questions for her. I know I won't be able to use her for my delivering OB and that makes me really sad, because I love her. I know she is going to "get on to me" for my weight. I am technically overweight according to my BMI and she likes to point that out. So... anyways... things are moving forward, and I will keep you all updated. I also "met" someone through http://www.diabeticmommy.com/ who is my age from Birmingham so I am looking so forward to hearing from her about her experience with UAB hospital and the OB she used.

Now... for something totally unrelated to my diabetes, TTC journey, or anything in the blog. A strange occurrence of selflessness and giving happened in my life this week thanks to my friend Jill. I am completely a self proclaimed cynic. I have worked in ICU for almost 5 years and let's just say I've seen how cruel some people can be. I've also just lived in B'ham for a while and I've seen the same homeless people give the same story over and over again to beg for money, but my eyes were opened a little wider this week and it gave me a new perspective. I would like to share this with any fellow cynics out there.

Jill and I went to lunch Monday at McAllister's and on our way back to clinic we were stopped by this 30's-something black man pushing a what-looked-like 1 year old boy in a stroller. He walked up to us and ask us for 75 cents in order for him to catch the bus. (Here is where I will say that I would have given him the change if I had it, but I didn't have any change or cash on me, just a debit card) Well Jill and I both said no-that all we had was a card. Then, when he walked off she was very upset. She felt like she couldn't live with herself without helping him out, so we went after him. When we got up to where he was there was a lady giving the man a dollar. (Which I made sure to point out to Jill - cynic me) She walks up to him and tells him to wait on her- she is going to go to the ATM across the street and get him money. He said he would wait and stood on the corner of the street in the shade with his baby. He gave the baby a bottle and pulled out his cell phone and his cigarettes. We went off across the street!

Jill pulled $20 out of her bank account and took it back across the street to the man. (While on the way across the street I pointed out to her that he was smoking and obviously wasn't to poor to buy cigarettes or a cell phone- cynic) When we got up to him, she started up a conversation with him. She ask where he lived- the projects, which he talked about wanting to get out of. He talked about his other two daughters, the bad living conditions he lived in, selling his food stamps to pay bills, not having enough money to buy food for his kids, not having any money to pay bills, etc. He said he was going to catch the bus to go to his mom's to ask her for money to pay his $155 light bill. Jill mentioned that she went to a church that had programs in place to assist people like him. He talked about how he had gone to a church as a kid, but not anymore. His phone rang, he answered, and he told us thank you, and God bless you girls.

We walked off and Jill said she wished she had the $155 to give him to pay his bill. She said that even if he spent the money on something bad she was glad she was able to help him. She said that she has been guided by her pastor to be giving and not judge. I've never seen such an example of not judging. I'm not saying that I don't help out people, or believe in the "What you do for the least of us, you do for me" philosophy, but me and Adam have always been the if you're hungry, we'll give you food people. This whole experience opened my eyes to the idea that maybe all people should at least be heard... maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge... maybe we all should lend an ear, a hand, some acts of kindness, some money if we have it. I don't know, but I think I can feel the tough, hard shell around my heart cracking... don't think that shell is going anywhere anytime soon, but she cracked it. Just some food for thought. Have a good day everybody!

What a day!

Okay... I feel like I am totally failing at life right now! Today is a really hard day for me... It is my sweet daddy's birthday. He would have been 63 today. I miss him and his advice so terribly! He was always like a steady place in my life and always pushed me to do my best. I went up to see my mom last week and went by the cemetery and I know it is corny, but I talked to him and I told him that we were planning on having a baby soon. It is going to be a long journey without him, and I know I'm not alone, but I wish he were still around.

As far as dlife goes... today was a roller coaster!! I changed my site this morning (back to the quickset) and it hurt immediately. I had to go to an awful computer class today (the hospital I work at is going to online charting next month... NIGHTMARE!!). Well I debated for the first several hours about if my site was working or not. BGs were down to 60 and then up to 233 (AHHHH!!). So on my break from the class I went down to the pump classroom (I teach insulin pumps which is pretty convenient for having my own issues) and I got a sure t and popped that baby in!! I'm pretty sure I'm sold on those now... It is just so nice to know they are working! So then... this afternoon I still stayed on the high side... I corrected... still kinda high... corrected again... then I had a 126. (Yay!)

So I started the long trek home... I live about 25 minutes from work but in rush hour it takes about and hour and a half to get home! About half way home I realize I am really crashing! My bg was 41 and I was starting to see funny, so I pulled over and had an out of body experience... NO I didn't pass out, but I did binge MAJORLY on some Dunkin Donuts. Then it was like I suddenly came out of a thick fog to say... WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST DO?? Ugh... sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to get it together enough to get pregnant!

I'm feeling so down right now... I just feel like I can't handle myself, and I don't know why I'm on such an up and down ride like this. I e-mailed our regional clinical manager from Medtronic today and found out I'm going to have to order the entire $1,000 CGM kit even though I already have half of the things included it the kit. I also called Medtronic today to see if I could just ditch the quicksets and get sure t's instead, but my shipment already went out, so they said once they come in I can swap them for sure ts.

Ah.... I need to have someone to come up and give me a great big hug and tell me it is all going to be okay. If only Adam could hurry up and get off work.

RELIEF!

HE RESPONDED!!! Yay! I could be more elated just to have heard from him!! He said that I will need to get my thyroid levels right, which is a HASSLE, but very important! He also said I maybe won't need a high risk ob, but I will still need to find one that delivers at UAB. Glory Glory Hallelujah! Finally some good news!

how low can you go?

Hello world!!! What's that you ask? Why am I awake at 2am on a school night?? Well.... since you ask....

My BG (blood glucose or sugar) is 42! Yikes I know!!

It's okay though... I'm working on getting it up... suspended the pump (Insulin pump... I have Medtronic Paradigm 522),;Coke and mini chocolate chip (horribleforyou) muffins at side! Trying despirately not to binge. Should have drank the milk like I started, but then I felt that twinge of oh-my-god-you-are-still-dropping-and-you-are-gonna-die!!

I've been awake for about 30 minutes lying in my bed. Thinking "CHECK YOUR SUGAR." So after carefully and quitely using my cell phone as a light, I finally found my meter, strips, and (after checking to see if I could just squeeze my finger and make blood appear) my lancet. All while despirately trying to not wake Adam (my awesome hubby) who has to wake up to go to work in about 3 hours.

I was already on high alert for this one though... I had such roller coaster day today.

Usually I use what is called a quickset for my insertion set or site. Night before last I had TWO go bad on me (one was kinked and the other was just in a bad place)!! Totally wrecking my BG and leaving me at 400 with ketones half of the night. The next morning I went in to work at the endo (diabetes) clinic where I help out teaching insulin pumps two days a week. I found something called a SURE T which is an infusion set that uses a real needle instead of a catheter. I poped it in with slight reservation and to my surprise... it felt fine. Problem solved... almost... since I've been wearing the sure t I've had better insulin absorbtion, running with a temp basal at 75% of my regular basal rate and still living with a BG in the 60's sipping on real coke.

So, when some friends ask me to meet them for Mexican and drinks I thought... sure... my blood sugar could use a little Mexican boost! haha... 9pm BG 257!! (Side note... one of my fav mex restaurant around pelham just started serving margaritas made with SPLENDA... love!!) But alas... I corrected my high and here I am... sitting on my couch in the dark, basking in the low of knowing that my pump site is working and the mexican food is now gone from my tummy along with the high that it caused.

Well... feeling better now... guess I'll head back to bed!

Waiting

So....  I'm waiting... My husband and I are ready to try for kids, but before any of this can happen, we have to have the approval.

Not of one another. Not of our mothers (our fathers both tragically died the first year we were married). But of doctors.... and not just one doctor but lots of doctors... First my endo. I see him every three months (plus I work with him on occasion). We've been talking hypothetically about me getting pregnant for a while now, and he's been supportive and really willing to help me out. But, now that I've emailed him saying... "we're ready and what do we do?" I haven't heard from him. I'm kinda freaking out... I really really really need to hear from him that he thinks it is going to be okay. I need his advice. But I'm waiting...

After we hear from him I will need to meet with my OB GYN. Even though she will not be able to deliver the baby (because she is not a high risk OB) I will need her approval as well. She is great though, and I'm really sad she won't be able to be the one that helps me through the process.

Then there is my eye doctor... I see them next week.

And the dentist (who knew this was important before getting pregnant?!?)... I see them in July.

And then I will need to pick a high risk ob gyn who I will want to work with throughout the pregnancy. This is going to be important because I will have to see this person A LOT for the nine months and they will call a lot of the shots on how much I will be able to participate in my own care.

And then there are the issues of getting started on a CGM and getting a pump upgrade to the REVEL so that I can have a 300 unit cartridge to deal with the quadrupaling of my insulin requirements.

But until then... I am just waiting... waiting... waiting...